It hurts now, but I'm glad

I'm glad that I met you
It hurts now but I'm glad
You were there for me on lonely nights
I'm glad that I met
The one and only you in the world
Our memories become stars that shine in the night sky
...
You were always by my side
All I needed was to have you near
...
Alone by myself in the city at midnight
I act like nothing's wrong even though I want to cry
...

I'll hold the piece of a dream
You gave me that day and never let it go
...
The world ended the moment I met you
I was searching for you, the one who would move my heart
Even if we can't go back to the way we were that day


Oh, JPOP, always there for me at my darkest hour... I love this song.
Check out Miliyah Kato ft Shota Shimizu - Love Forever

What do I do
what do I do
what do I do?

dear kitty cat blonde...

So on a whim (and since my roots were growing out), I decided to go back to blonde. Now I'm sure all my fellow hair color addicted friends (especially all you asian girls!) out there can agree that bleaching your hair at home and trying to get a cool shade of ash blonde is something to NEVER, EVER do at home.

No matter how and what, especially for asian hair, the amount of toner required to offset the bright banana yellow, orange, and red sunset tones that arise from stripping your hair of its color is generally not present in a box dye, but since I had purchased a box of Palty hair coloring from Japan, I thought I would try my luck...

Take a look...

***WARNING: I am by no means instructing you how to kill your hair at home, I am simply writing about my personal ordeal, so if you attempt this and don't get my results, don't kill me ok? Hahaha ok, then begin.

 

Step 1: 

I picked up a bleach from Shoppers Drug Mart - the one I picked actually sold the developer and bleach powder seperately. The developer was a 40 volume strenght peroxide (this is the same strength used to go platinum blonde in hair salons! Most box bleaches are only 20-30 volume), while the bleach powder seemed to be fairly typical. I mixed 25g of bleach powder with 100mL of the developer, which gave a pretty good consistency, similar to yogurt.

*Key point: Since bleach works faster when heated, apply to ends first before doing the roots, since the heat from your head will cause the bleach to lighten your roots faster.

Since I had previously colored my hair twice, I placed tinfoil on my ends in order to help the bleach work faster (retains heat, keeps the bleach isolated).

Step 2:

After doing all the ends, we removed the tin foil and proceeded to bleach the roots. To prevent the bleach from drying out (which renders it useless) and help retain heat to help the bleach work faster, we wrapped everything up in saran wrap. There is no gain without pain, this stuff BURNS! (Yea, that's me crying!)

Step 3:
I left the bleach in until my roots and ends were quite yellow, similar to a light banana skin since I was wanted the final color to be a dark ash blonde as opposed to a platinum blonde.

*Key point: If you have fine hair or hair that is easily damaged, you MUST do a strand test. Many girls have hair that cannot handle long periods of bleaching as it's pretty damaging, so if you don't double check, you risk completely frying your hair (I'm not kidding, it will look like toasted curly pubes) or having your hair fall out...


Step 4:
I then used the Palty Milk Tea Brown hair dye.

Following the instructions, I was also instructed to do ends before roots. I have to say, compared to regular North American box dyes, the Japanese ones have much less dye. Am I the only one who finds it incredibly deceptive that the models on box dyes almost always have really long hair?!

(Photo courtesy: ichibankanusa.com)

Oh, we also did face masks in the process, because you know, you can never be too girly...
The final color was quite similar to the color shown on the model in the box. Too bad it looked AWFUL on me!!! T_T


Step 5:

So, the next day I decided to pick up a light ash blonde from L'Oreal Excellence or Preference (I forget the line). I stupidly thought I might be able to add extra blue stain to the hair dye to offset the orange tones in my hair. BAD IDEA. The dye turned a strange shade of forest green, to my dismay. When I finally washed it out, I thought adding blue stain to my conditioner would help to offset any residual orange. ANOTHER BAD IDEA! I added way too much, and my hair ended up looking like a rocketpop!!! To the dye's fault, my roots were still orange (even though I dyed my roots first!), however, the parts of my hair that were bleached light enough were a beautiful light ash blonde. If I ever use this dye again, I will keep that in mind...

Oh, I also wrapped my head in foil to help the dye work faster.

Step 6: 
Since I had an interview today at a medical office, I needed to get rid of the blue stain. Normally, a few washes with a dish soap or a strong dandruff shampoo will do the trick, but not this time! I really went overboard with the blue, so I had to pick up another box of dye! I have had really good experiences with Clairol's Perfect 10 line, so I chose the Medium Ash Blonde 7.5A.

(Photo courtesy: superdrug.com)

Following instructions, I applied where the problem spots were (they were refering to greys, I was thinking about my blue and orange patches, no biggie haha). The results were awesome! Most of the orange is gone, there is a tiny bit of blue left from the stain that turned very slightly green, only visible in fluorescent light, which I decided to cut off anyway when I cut my hair afterwards.

Here's the final color! (Hhahahah taken with my Gloomy X Hello Kitty as M is naked and fresh out of the shower...)

I'm quiet happy with the way it turned out, but I'm sure that if my hair weren't as resilient as I know it to be, I would definitely be bald right now! I have a few chemical burns on my scalp from over processing, but nothing that won't heal up in a few days.

OH, and then when I got to the interview, I found out that they had hired someone prior to my two interviews and that if they had seen my interview earlier, they would have hired me instead. GTFO. Assholes... but at least my hair is beautiful ^^V

So that's that, color me happy!

a $200 bet...

Today I bet my friend A $200 that I could quit smoking before he could.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!?!?!

In my broke, jobless bum situation, I have taken upon myself a bet that I may not be able to win...

Here is the break down of the opposing teams:

To clarify, (+) indicates an advantage, (-) indicates a disadvantage

ME:

(+) I am not physically addicted, just psychologically.

(-) On the other hand, I am easily swayed by seeing something that reminds me of cigs...

(+) I do not get physically sick or particularly cranky without nicotine.

(-) But beer and smokes are made for each other! (I am a big fan anyway)

(+) I am actually concerned about the smoker's hack and smoker's skin I may develop... meep :\

(+) They will soon be banning all my beloved flavored cigs

(+) Most of my close girl friends have all quit

(+) ...and I am never one to lose haha (especially when $200 is on the line!!)

VS.

A:

(+) He suggested the $200 to bet so that he would actually try

(-) He is Korean and surrounded by smokers

(+) He made me a beer bong... so I am assuming he can do anything

(-) He has definitely been smoking for longer than me

(+) He is a chef, so it is to his infinite advantage to quit

(-) He is cutting back on the greens, meaning his temper will be unpleasant

(+) He is moving in with a friend who just quit...

(+) He is also a bum haha

Hahahahahha so as far as I can see, I am definitely ahead. 2:1 for me. I am going to win this.

WISH ME LUCKKK!!!

(image courtesy: gearfuse.com)

the big move (... 2 months late)

Okay, okay, I know I have been meaning to do this forever, but since I finally started getting some callbacks for jobs (it took 2 months to find a job here!!! I am getting poor from spending so much money eating and drinking and shopping, so it's a sigh of relief on my part...), I decided to finally post pictures of our big move!

We (or rather, I was a 2 week long fixture on M's futon) previously lived in a bachelor pad in Kits...

We didn't start cleaning until a week before moving, as we very stupidly thought that there couldn't possibly be that much stuff to pack from a bachelor pad...

Clearly, we were wrong!!!

We rented a U-HAUL to drive all our stuff over to the opposite end of the city... N came and lent us his manly prowess hehehehehhe

Maggie drove the U-HAUL and I followed her in her car... the only thing I saw for the entire drive:

Out of the old...

 And into the new!!

(So halfway through this post I realized how MESSY our place looks in the photos I took while drunk and decided there's no way I can post them without being terribly embarrassed.)

BUT since we were homeless for about 8 hours in between moves, we went bowling and then to the Adidas Limited Edition Release Party! The new Jeremy Scott collection below...

I initially bought the triple tongue black and white printed kicks seen on the bottom of the photo, but for $300 CAN, I couldn't really justify them when I'm supposed to be saving for Japan... -__-;;

Anyway, that's the end of this blurb, here's a cute photo I took of heart shaped leaves I saw in Vancouver <3

rainbows and cigarettes

Just a quickie because something fantastic happened just now!

I went outside for a cigarette (yes, I know they kill you and even worse, give you wrinkles...) and realized that tomorrow is the big day to move into the new place!!!

Anyway, as this realization dawned on me, I had a single tear of happiness (I will soon post pictures of how messy the batcave i.e. Maggie's bachelor is and you'll know why I say this), and just as this happened, the sun came out and reflected a rainbow off my single tear onto my glasses!

In conclusion, there is no pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, just tears. Tears of joy. Cheesy, but awesome!!!

confessions

Finally got the guts (well, a couple beers and a double rye soda will do that) to confess my adoration for a certain someone. Don't think it'll go well, but who knows. Cross my fingers... Wish me luck...

(X)( -____-);;

homesick...

Perhaps it's still a bit early to jump to the word "homesick" but I can't really think of how else to describe it. A combination of remorse but not regret, longing but not pining, and an unusual state of being stuck in limbo.

Although I've always recognized that everyone needs time alone for self reflection and self emancipation, now is not one of those times for me. Or maybe it's been a long time coming, and now that it's here, I'm at a loss for how to handle it. To begin with, I don't feel like I'm doing a hell of a lot of self reflection, so in my mind, this is no different than dicking around unemployed.

I think the fact that I haven't really settled in makes things worse, since we don't move into our new place until October 1st. It's difficult to call a place home when you don't have your own space and a comfortable ritual to fall into. Although the usual wake up, wash your face, brush your teeth, etc morning ritual are still in place, it happens at different times of the day, and after that happens, my ritual falls apart and I'm not sure what to do with myself again.

I know that this can't be blamed on moving to Vancouver, but moreso that I've always been so busy keeping myself busy. In Edmonton, I never had fewer than 2 jobs at a time - working the 60 hour weeks, having the extra cash on hand - it was always a way to maintain a high strung, fast paced lifestyle. I never wanted to stay at home, and if I ever did, it was only a forced means of pacing myself for the next wind of non-stop activities to come.

In hindsight, maybe it's true what they say: this sort of lifestyle is incredibly draining on both your body and soul, and worst of all, you never know it until it's too late. I feel a pang of guilt knowing I've unknowingly imposed a persona of hard partying nights, gluttonous eating habits and excess unnecessary spending on my friends and those around me.

(image courtesy images.easyart.com)

I have never thought anything of ordering 10-20 shots in a row at a bar; to me, this was simply the norm and the quickest, funnest way to accomplish the small feat of getting everyone, who wanted to be drunk, utterly smashed. But when I think back about all the people who have called me or texted me the next morning telling me about how they spent the night with Princess Porcelain, I feel ashamed knowing that I felt proud to be that hard partying friend.

Trying to cut down on alcohol, but instead of feeling like I'm in control and limiting my drinking, I simply feel as though I'm holding back on what could be a spontaneous out of control night. To this day, regardless of how many embarrassing, stumbling, vomiting nights we've had, I still can't help but enjoy the humor and lack of inhibition associated with them.

Anyway, before this post gets any more morbid, I suppose I'd better head out and enjoy the sun while it lasts...

P.S. 

Oddly enough, I keep waking up with puffy eyes, or developing puffy eyes in the middle of the day. Can one cry without knowing it...?

Shoes of the day! Just got the Keep Benten Pretzels, check 'em out, they're super cute!!!

(\___/)
( '  v  ')b

(photo courtesy eukicks.com) 

V-V-V-Va-va-voom Vancouver!

Had one of the worst errand days in history on Monday scrambling to get everything together before the big move on Tuesday...

To start, I made the grave mistake of thinking my last physiotherapy appointment was 1 hour later than it really was. Funny how a 1 hour time lapse can completely throw off the rest of the day (I was exactly 1 hour late to dinner later that night -___-;;). Then, to make matters worse, the guy I was supposed to meet to pick up a new cellphone forgot to come meet me. Now I know you're thinking, no biggie, Edmonton's not that big - BUT, if you put St. Albert into the equation... 

Ended up being almost an hour late to meet Castle, my amazing tattoo artist, to fit in a bit more work on the Klimt piece. Luckily, he was super understanding even though we only got a 1.5 hour session in... Another stroke of luck - V came by and offered me an arm to bite on - which, by the way, is a heaven send when your leg is starting to twitch from the pain (I only wish I had taken photos to show the damage I left, and I say this regardless of how much True Blood I watch). I have to say, I think I am developing an odd affection for him...

*** I am adopting T's habit of referring to friends this way so that only some dirty laundry is aired ;)

Arrived at my own going away dinner 1 hour late (see!) but when you've got another stomach for lobster, it tastes just as good cold as it does hot... (thinking about this is making me drool, for contrast sake, I ate leftover sushi from a fridge that apparently might be broken this morning... sitting and waiting for the shits is the worst, apparently). Perhaps the late dinner was a blessing in disguise though, because we ended up staying so late that both C and K were able to join!! If you have never seen C eat before, think of a beautiful garburator...

Afterwards, we all went back to my house so that I could finish packing and cleaning. A and P came by and joined, which I was thankful for, since mundane tasks seem to go by much faster when your friends are sitting on your couch nosebleeding to sultry pictures of fobs on the internet.

T also left me a goody in my mailbox!! My dear twin spoils me...

"Some things are hard to find because you're not meant to find them yet..."

Lancome Le Vernis Divine Lasting Color & Shine Limited Edition in 012 Pure Gold

 I am wearing it as we type! It's a beautiful light 12K gold as opposed to a cheesy 24K gold, which I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!

I only wish I had a camera to show you...
(photo courtesy from Lancome.com)


So it turns out my home weight scale isn't particularly accurate, because when I got to the airport, the lady made me take out 5lbs!! THAT WAS A PURSE, A SWEATER, AND A PAIR OF JEANS. Then, not only did she make me weigh one of my carry-ons, I wasn't allowed to bring my 3rd carry-on of shoes, even though I have on occasion carried 4 carry-ons... AND then to top it off, I had to pay the overweight baggage fee...
I hate Air Canada ( >_<),,|,


Anyway, arrived in Vancouver safely, and first stop, Aberdeen Mall in Richmond! Got my fix of DAISO, my beloved Japanese $2 store and picked up some eyelashes for myself and T. (Again, I am kicking myself for not having a camera, these lashes come with tops and bottoms, and the top is lined with silver glitter!)

First meal - Iki Sushi, a modern Japanese fusion restaurant that provides the option of brown sushi rice! (Another kick for not having a camera.) They had a ton of different types of maki, so it was a bit difficult to choose... we ended up going for the prosciutto roll, the bahama roll, and another roll from their specials - sundried tomato, cream cheese, and artichokes rolled in brown rice covered with pumpkin seeds, served with a balsamic reduction, as well as a salmon carpaccio and the fire tower - yam tempura fries served with spicy teriyaki, togarashi mayo, and hollandaise sauce...

The maki here was amazing, but I probably wouldn't order toro here again since it wasn't as buttery and fatty as I expect it to be, but overall a really awesome meal for less than $50 (for all that? STEAL!).

(menu image courtesy of Iki sushi's website)

OH, I dyed my hair, finally!

I decided to try the Clairol  Perfect 10 in Light Brown #6, since a different shade had worked well when I tried it out on my Mom. Used it on natural, non dyed hair and it turned out really red in my hair! I am upset, since I spent quite a bit of effort trying to get the red out... ( T_T);; Should I re-dye it?

AND to make matters worse, it doesn't match my extensions anymore... I think I'm going to cry...


(photo courtesy of moneysavingmom.com)




Anyways, I suppose I should get out and check out the city a bit while Maggie is working...